Ruminations can drive you nuts! How could I have been so stupid? Why did I allow myself to get into such a mess? Why, How, where????
These seem to haunt me at times. I long to find respite from these thoughts and it seems the older I get I mull over things that have no validity. I guess if I had taken myself to account each and every day I could have saved the beatings I give myself now.
I find everyday I start afresh and find new interests and new sights and sounds that distract me from the gnawing. But night comes again and I awake from dreams that reignite the ruminations. Thank God for my prayers for forgiveness for me and to those contributed to the pain.
Didn't really mean to start out with such a negative diatribe.